Vice, Virtue, and Victory: Dick Cheney, RIP

Relaxation in energy, neocon king

Dick Cheney, the broadly beloved wartime vp, oil govt and out of doors sports activities fanatic, entered the dominion of heaven on Monday to stop New York Metropolis from being overtaken by a terrorism-loving belief fund communist. He was a yr and 9 months older than Joe Biden.

Cheney was greatest identified for his world-historical bromance with George W. Bush. The long-lasting duo will likely be remembered as probably the most profitable collaborations since Michael Jordan (Cheney) and Scottie Pippen (Bush). Their regular management within the aftermath of the September 11 terrorist assaults has helped Individuals heal our trauma by rekindling our ardour for killing terrorists and different enemies of freedom. They launched a sequence of profitable wars and pioneered improved interrogation methods that led to the demise of Osama bin Laden. They protected the homeland with navy drive overseas as they raced for re-election in 2004, averting the disastrous penalties of a John Kerry presidency. Cheney helped seal the victory by humiliating John Edwards on dwell tv.

A proud native of Wyoming, Cheney demonstrated his superior mind and elegant patriotism at an early age by dropping out of Yale College to keep away from being brainwashed by communists. He overcame two DWI arrests and the Vietnam Battle to change into the youngest White Home Chief of Workers in historical past at age 34. He survived 5 coronary heart assaults that might have felled males of weaker conviction and have become one of many first ever recipients of a totally implanted mechanical coronary heart pump. He perfected the neoconservative worldview, simply as Clausewitz perfected the science of battle.

Cheney was an avid outdoorsman and one of many few males in historical past with sufficient swagger to look cool in a cowboy hat. Former Weekly normal columnist Matt Labash praised Cheney as “a nice fisherman, a gentleman, a grasp conversationalist and a person who did not fear about what individuals consider him.” He was additionally a seasoned hunter. In 2006, he ‘by accident’ shot a person within the face who in all probability deserved it. The injured man, whose title nobody will keep in mind, apologized to Cheney for the inconvenience.

Considered one of Cheney’s most memorable acts as vp got here in 2004, when he suggested Sen. Patrick Leahy (D., Vt.), the obnoxious anti-war liberal, to exit on his personal. Leahy, like a complete bitch, stated he was “shocked to listen to that type of language” on the Senate flooring. Cheney would later keep in mind the confrontation as “the very best factor I ever did.”

As with all heroic wartime leaders, Cheney’s greatness was accentuated by the depravity of his most loyal enemies. ‘He ought to have died in The Hague’ wrote Mehdi Hasan, the previous MSNBC host who was fired for anti-Semitism. Eman Abdelhadi, an assistant professor on the College of Chicago who was not too long ago arrested for assaulting an ICE agent, agreed. “Relaxation in hell, Dick Cheney,” she stated sighed on Bluesky, the social media app for mentally in poor health liberals. “Your legacy is demise.” Hasan Piker, the pro-terrorist influencer greatest identified for abusing his canine, stated Cheney was “probably the most evil individuals in fashionable historical past.”

In actuality, Cheney saved America secure and continued to take action lengthy after he left workplace. He helped crush Hillary Clinton’s lifelong dream by endorsing Donald Trump in 2016. Whereas selling freedom at dwelling and overseas, Cheney grew to become a popular culture icon due to Christian Bale’s award-winning portrayal within the 2018 movie. Disgrace. That very same yr, he triumphantly signed a “waterboard equipment” introduced by disgraced cosplay artist Sacha Baron Cohen, an act of deadpan genius that earned him a Washington free beacon Man of the 12 months Award.

In certainly one of his closing acts of defiance in opposition to America’s enemies, Cheney boosted his waning recognition by endorsing Kamala Harris in 2024. This good transfer helped propel Trump to victory once more in 2024. 5 months after taking workplace, Trump “pulled a Cheney” by bombing Iran into submission.

“Dick Cheney was an excellent man, a champion of freedom and the archenemy of dictators and terrorists,” the newspaper stated. Free beaconAlana Goodman is correct observed. “His management has made the world safer and freer.”

Certainly. The world trembled on the commanding presence of “America’s Dick,” as he was affectionately identified by some. The world mourns his absence – a gaping gap which will by no means be stuffed.