We told women they could have it all — Kelsea Ballerini’s new song asks, at what cost?

Kelsea Ballerini’s new viral tune, “I Sit in Parks,” is terrifying. It is not simply one other breakup anthem or empowerment tune. It is a confession – an elegy for one thing lacking, one thing she solely realized she needed after the world instructed her she did not need it.

“I sit in parks / It breaks my coronary heart / ‘Trigger I see how far I’ve come / From the issues I need.”

In only a few strains, she captures the ache of a era of girls who had been instructed to pursue freedom, ambition, and self-discovery—however by no means instructed what to do after they had been alone and puzzled in the event that they had been strolling too removed from the issues that had grounded them.

Ballerini divorced her husband three years in the past as a result of she wasn’t positive she needed youngsters.

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Ballerini spoke with Alex Cooper for an episode of her podcast “Name Her Daddy,” during which she opened up concerning the demise of her marriage and her divorce EP.

Kelsea Ballerini performs on the Riviera Theater in Chicago on September 25, 2025. (Kevin Mazur/Getty Photographs for SiriusXM)

“I do not know if I even need children or not, however that was one thing that we talked about early on and that was one thing that I used to be transitioning into, you understand, as a result of he was prepared,” the “Heartfirst” artist mentioned on the podcast. “He mentioned, ‘I do not need to be an outdated dad,’ is what he saved saying. And I believed, ‘I am simply not there but.'”

Now she writes songs about sitting in parks, watching different girls’s households, and questioning if she missed her second.

Our physique, coronary heart and soul have rhythms that no ideology can rewrite. For many years, girls had been instructed that “you’ll be able to have all of it” meant “you’ll be able to have all of it later.” However ‘later’ comes ahead of we expect.

It is heartbreaking, not as a result of she’s weak or naive, however as a result of she’s trustworthy. She says out loud what tens of millions of girls really feel however are too afraid to confess: that the guarantees of feminism – which mentioned motherhood would shackle them, that domesticity was a lure, that actual which means lay in profession success and unfettered independence – left them emptier than earlier than.

“Did I miss it? Is it now / a lucid dream, is it my fault / for chasing after issues {that a} physique clock would not await?”

That boundary ought to be included within the cultural file as a result of it is not nearly fertility. It is about time, and the way brutal it’s. Our physique, coronary heart and soul have rhythms that no ideology can rewrite. For many years, girls had been instructed that “you’ll be able to have all of it” meant “you’ll be able to have all of it later.” However ‘later’ comes ahead of we expect.

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Because of this Kara Kennedy and I began ‘The Mother Wars’ on Substack – to color a unique image, to go towards the regular drumbeat that tells younger girls that motherhood is a burden, not a blessing.

Kelsea Ballerini says out loud what tens of millions of girls really feel however are too afraid to confess: that the guarantees of feminism—the guarantees that mentioned motherhood would shackle them, that domesticity was a lure, that the actual which means lay in profession success and unfettered independence—left them empty than earlier than. (Neilson Barnard/Getty Photographs for The Recording Academy)

We needed to create an area the place girls may inform the reality about what makes life full, not hole. An area to remind the following era that love, household and sacrifice are usually not indicators of give up; they’re indicators of power.

Ballerini’s tune is highly effective as a result of it isn’t bitter, however unhappy. It is reflective. And it’s actual. She would not piss anybody off, not even herself. She’s sitting in that park, along with her vape and her Lexapro, staring on the life she thought she did not need.

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“They lay on a blanket / And — d— he loves her / I ponder if she desires my freedom / Like I need to be a mom.”

That textual content cuts straight by means of the performative feminism of our time. We had been bought a freedom that was imagined to make us blissful. As an alternative, it has made us lonely. We traded carrots for wings, however nobody instructed us easy methods to land.

Kelsea Ballerini and her husband Morgan Evans divorced in 2022. (Taylor Hill/Getty Photographs)

I learn these lyrics and felt an odd mixture of disappointment and gratitude. Unhappiness for the ladies who believed the lies, who gave up marriage or motherhood as a result of they had been instructed these issues would restrict them. Gratitude that I did not hear.

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This week I purchased myself a necklace with a allure for every of my youngsters’s names, six in whole. Once I put it round my neck within the morning, it seems like armor towards the cynicism of the world. Every letter is a reminder that I’ve chosen a path that the tradition scoffs at, however my soul celebrates.

Motherhood would not finish your story. It deepens it.

I take into consideration the conversations I’ve had with youthful girls, good, pushed, lovely, whispering that they “possibly” need youngsters sometime, however not but, not whereas they’re constructing one thing. I need to seize their palms and say: you’re constructing one thing each time you’re keen on somebody, each time you nurture, each time you select connection over distraction.

Motherhood would not finish your story. It deepens it.

Motherhood would not finish your story. It deepens it. (iStock)

“I Sit in Parks” is each a warning and a mirror. It reveals us what occurs when a tradition teaches girls to measure their price in metrics—like excursions, levels, promotions, and followers—relatively than in love, religion, or legacy.

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And but Ballerini’s honesty may also be a begin. Perhaps this tune, with its haunting melody and piercing remorse, can spark a brand new dialog. Perhaps it might probably assist younger girls ask higher questions earlier than it is too late.

Maybe Ballerini’s honesty may also be a begin. Perhaps this tune, with its haunting melody and piercing remorse, can spark a brand new dialog. Perhaps it might probably assist younger girls ask higher questions earlier than it is too late. (Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic)

As a result of this quiet, reflective disappointment is what awaits us on the finish of the “girlboss” rainbow, and we are able to do higher by our daughters.

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I applaud Kelsea Ballerini for being so weak, so human, and so brave. She speaks for a era who had been instructed motherhood was a detour – solely to find that it was the vacation spot all alongside.

So sure, I sit in parks too, however with six little charms who name me mother. And I thank God each day that I did not miss it.

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This essay was first revealed on Creator’s Substack »Mother wars.”